Signs Your Summer Internship Is Going Well
by Evelyn Garcia
1. Your boss eats a hot dog during your interview.
2. Your boss does not wear shoes during your interview.
3. You are one of five
5. unpaid interns
6. for one person,
7. who is a self-employed “social media consultant.”
8. You are asked to write copy to sell a product for the boss’ side business and
9. the product is a “hangover cure.”
10. But is actually an e-book that costs $2.99
11. and instructs the consumer to take a shower, take Alka-Seltzer, and drink Gatorade
13. Your boss fires every intern but you.
14. They get drunk and cry,
15. and he hires two of them back.
16. You finally learn that the point of your internship was to secure free beer and food for a fundraiser
17. so that your boss could meet the minimum donation requirement for his friends to participate in a high-profile charity bicycling event.
18. Your parents drive across the state to come to your stupid party,
19. because they want to support your non-career.
20. You love that their hard-working, warm faces
21. stand out at this hip, brick-walled event space
22. among all these phony “consultants” and “artist-preneurs” and “creatives.”
23. They take a picture of you
24. because they are too earnest to know that this isn’t the good kind of memorable.
Evelyn Garcia still works there. KIDDING. KIDDING. Screw that guy, seriously.