Five Spendy Instincts I Ignored This Weekend And Only One I Didn’t (Pats on Back)

For a long time I have lived like I have all the money, despite having none of the money. I am trying to change this! But my brain still wants to spend all the money. FOR EXAMPLE, this weekend, I thought these things (but did these things):

1. I should eschew my two-year-old personal ban on two-piece bathing suits and buy a new bikini because 28 is too young to never be almost-nearly-naked in public again (Browsed Internet for some hours, tortured self by imagining alternate life in which I had and used $250 bikinis, did not purchase anything — though, to be clear, this wasn’t even an option, as I have no money or fake money)

2. Out on a walk with friends, I should buy everyone $3 popsicles as a fun treat (We each bought our own $3 popsicle, and then we each bought a second one because: lunch)

3. Not getting it together and missing a dear friend’s birthday can be remedied by overnighting a dreamy summer dress (Wrote a neurotic email and planned a little package of tiny lovely things)

4. I should refuse my friends’ offer to bring cheese and bread and cocktails to our country sleepover and provide a super spread myself (Said, “Thank you,” and bought a few things of my own to contribute to dinner, happily got drunk on their booze)

5. The proper repayment for someone letting you stay in their amazing country house for two weeks is to buy them a french press to replace their electric coffee maker that does not go with the otherwise perfect aesthetic of their home (I’m actually probably still going to do this, but I at least successfully put off the purchase for a minute)

And one I didn’t ignore:

That after walking around for hours and getting drenched in a rainstorm and then caught on a train platform and not having eaten anything and it being 4 p.m., that it was okay for me to buy a $10 french lentil salad and an $8 bloody mary and sit on a covered porch and read a book (It was basically lovely, worth the price of admission, though I will always say that about any money spent. For real though: I should have eaten a slice of pizza across the street)

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