Never Let Go of Your Titanic Obsession

In the early nineteen-seventies, my Uncle Walter, who wasn’t a “real” uncle but had a better intuition about my hobbies and interests than some of my blood relatives did, gave me a thrilling gift: membership in the Titanic Enthusiasts of America.

Perhaps you read the lede to Daniel Mendelsohn’s New Yorker article about America’s obsession with Titanic and wondered: How can I be a member of the Titanic Enthusiasts of America, and more importantly, what will it cost me?

First some bad news: The Titanic Enthusiasts of America is now called The Titanic Historical Society, a woefully lesser name.

But: You can still become a member. There are three options for membership, either bronze ($50/year), silver ($60/year), or gold ($100). All members get free admission to the museum, access to members-only online forums (!), a subscription to the quarterly publication, and a membership card (“I’m a card-carrying member of the Titanic Enthusiasts of America,” is a line that will make you friends and get you laid, for sure). The levels denote how much members contribute towards the preservation of artifacts. For help making your selection, please refer to the section titled, “Why we see you as an ideal member:”

If you are like most of our members, you realize that governments do a poor job. Political correctness and revisionism that will serve their purpose is often the primary objective. Only through groups such as the Titanic Historical Society does real history get passed on for future generations.

How can you read that and NOT choose the gold membership, is what I want to know. Join here. Or if you’re not ready to take the plunge (groan), perhaps you should just order the latest issue of the quarterly Commutator, which includes “Titanic Memorial Lighthouse Being Loaded on a Flatbed Trailer (Photograph)” and “Seance, a poem.” It is $25.

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