How I Earned Flip-Flops for a Day’s Work

Or, how my world changed overnight into an unrecognizable place

Unicef conducted an interesting social experiment on unfair treatment that illustrates the enormous importance of status. As it turned out, reactions of the passersby to the “abandoned” child differed significantly based solely on how the child was dressed.

Clothing serves as a projection of social status and so with the change of the child’s garments her social interactions changed dramatically as well. In a blink of an eye, the world turned from the one where everyone was kind, decent, and helpful into the one where she was being ignored and treated in the meanest possible way. The change was so radical that the experiment had to be terminated, for the child couldn’t handle the shock of the harsh treatment she all of a sudden began to receive.

I can completely understand the child’s reaction, since I experienced a similar kind of drastic transformation of my social environment into a mean and terrifying place when I unexpectedly lost my job. The only difference was that what I went through was real life and not an experiment. Thus, no one was there to stop it when I broke down and couldn’t handle it any longer.

Change starts when you choose to care. (UNICEF)

How can one lose all social worth due to a change of status alone? Is the very same individual worthy of kindness and respect only if she also has the “right” kind of social standing? Who are we being kind to, a status or a person?!

This begs the question does one remain the same person when her status changes? In the eyes of the world, obviously not.

The transformation

I was laid off even though I was a member of the Union of Journalists. I never thought my bosses would go that far. After months of wearying negotiations, however, they not only went that far but terminated my contract in the most sadistic manner. It was inhumane, to quote my attorney, and so stressful that I suffered a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with adjustment disorder.

Since I filed a lawsuit against my highly influential employer and also went public with what happened, I was blacklisted. I eventually won, but it took 2.5 years of a costly and vicious legal battle during which time I was left with no income and in a fragile mental state. Due to my newfound inability to pay the mortgage, the possibility of losing my home became all too real.

A desperate search for a job

An employment agency counselor looked into my file and informed me that I have close to zero chance of getting a job considering my age, highly specific work experience, and the fact that I couldn’t even hope for a letter of recommendation for the last 11 years of work for my former employer.

In a single day, I turned from a respected citizen into an unemployed person with no chance of getting a job. I had no idea how radically my social life would change as a result.

“Surely, my friends will help,” I reassured myself quite naively, grabbed the phone and started making calls…

…let me just say that these painful attempts didn’t work out nearly as well as I hoped for, but at least I got a tip on one job opening. An owner of a local snack bar was looking for help and complained to my friend, who frequently visited the place, about how incredibly hard it was to find someone reliable.

“If you are serious about taking ANY job, then go and apply,” my affluent friend said with more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice. At the tone of her voice, it slowly began to dawn on me what the loss of status actually meant.

A job is a job, or is it?

I applied and told the owner that I really needed a job and was prepared to work hard. She seemed satisfied and asked me to come to work the next day. The pay was supposed to be 5 Euros per hour, a minimum wage, but I was happy to earn even that for a start. At least it was a paying job.

There are real jobs and then there are flip-flops jobs.

It turned out, however, that what I was getting was a flip-flops job. This meant that I worked just like any other worker would; I was a dishwasher, waitress, and the owner even put me in charge of the place while she ran to the store.

She came back carrying a pair of flip-flops and gave them to me. I was surprised. I didn’t expect a gift and she didn’t bother to ask me what size I wear. Nevertheless, a gift is a gift, and so I thanked her and refrained from mentioning that they were one size too small.

A gift is a gift, or is it?

Since the place was so busy and there were only the two of us, there was no time to take a break and I was on my feet for 7 hours straight before I could even grab a bite. She was too stingy to buy a dishwasher and I had to hand wash every single item that was used by her and the customers, not to mention running around and serving dishes while she cooked.

The shift was coming to an end, I was dead tired and she sat me down at one of the empty tables. She said I could choose anything from the menu and she would prepare it for me. Again, I was surprised at how kind she was. After I finished the meal she looked me in the eye and said that this was just a trial, that trial work is not paid, and that she would call me if she needed me again.

We both knew that this was not going to happen.

I realised that I never really got a job, that I just earned a pair of one size too small flip-flops for a day’s work, and that this was how she’s been running her business. This was what her complaints about “how hard it is to find a reliable workforce” were all about. And it killed me.

It killed me because she knew exactly how badly I needed a paycheck and chose to take advantage of me nevertheless. It killed me because I finally understood what it means to lose status — not only you will make less money (if any at all), but will all too often be treated inhumanely by other human beings. It means that many will choose to abuse you when you are at your most weak and vulnerable instead of helping or at least not making it worse.

The only people who can change the world are people who want to. And not everybody does. (Hugh MacLeod)

Telephone icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com

Flip-flops icon by Oscar Yáñez at https://thenounproject.com/, CC BY 3.0 US.

Mateja started to write short stories at the age of ten and later found herself in the role of a freelance journalist, radio personality, and psychologist. Her life resembles a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs and some pretty wild turns. Among other things, her car was destroyed by tanks and she survived several brushes with death. She graduated summa cum laude in psychology from Arizona State University and is now working on her online service Transform the Pain to help people cope with grief and loss. Connect with Mateja on LinkedIn.

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Thanks to Justine Dunn for initial editing.

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