Revising the American Dream

by Jill Dehnert

In college I took a finance class with a professor who, on the first day, brought in a laminated copy of a letter she’d received from Warren Buffett. There were probably 40 or so students in the room, and she had us pass it around, the edges slightly worn with time and the handwriting so faded that it was hardly readable. But it was more about the object itself. The very fact that the self-made billionaire had sent her something, a piece of financial advice I think, was enough to warrant praise.

The teacher and the class, unsurprisingly, were both terrible, but I always remembered Warren Buffett as an icon of the American Dream. So when Business Insider posted an article called, “How Rich Warren Buffett Was at Your Age” detailing how Buffett’s wealth manifested throughout his lifetime, my interest was piqued.

I recently turned 30 and I’m pretty far behind Buffett who, apparently, was a millionaire by his third decade. I am not a millionaire. In fact, I don’t think I have reached any of my financial goals that I set for myself: By the time I was 30, I would have a healthy Roth IRA (something I learned about in the finance class) that I contributed to regularly; I would have six months of living expenses saved; I would own a home; I would be free of consumer debt.

Alas, none of these things are true. I think that my main problem comes from having trouble figuring out what exactly it is that I want to do with my life. I was an English major in college, with a business minor. I’ve always had an interest in telling stories and in marketing. I also love food, and have spent a lot of my life serving it. I love the opportunity to solve a puzzle, and to me writing and marketing are both different ways of solving something.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately depending on your perspective), this breadth of interests has led me on a strange career path. I worked in advertising for a while in New York, but I missed writing. So, I decided to go to grad school. And now, MFA in hand, I’m back in NYC. Unfortunately, it’s a city that, unless you have Warren Buffett level wealth, makes it difficult to be a writer, which tends not to be the most lucrative career. So, I’ve found myself back in the marketing realm, working for a media company. It is a well-paid, steady job and takes away a lot of the guesswork and stress that freelance writing incites.

Yet, I still feel anxious. I still feel like somehow I’ve failed — either because I couldn’t make writing financially viable, or because I still look at the balance sheet of my life and see a negative net worth. Probably both.

The American Dream, that great narrative of our country, would say that I should be able to do something I love while also making a fortune. It is a strange concept because ostensibly, we all know that society wouldn’t function if we all had our dream jobs. And more than that, capitalism as a system only allows for very few — the Warren Buffetts of the world — to gain extreme wealth. Even though I know that the very idea of the American Dream is flawed, I still can’t seem to help but measure myself against it, and I always find myself lacking.

But maybe the secret of the American Dream isn’t wealth or social climbing or doing work you love. Maybe the secret of the American Dream is more about a shift of perspective. Today, when it is easier than ever to compare yourself to those around you through social media and an insatiable appetite to consume content and read articles like, “How Rich Warren Buffett was at Your Age?” dissatisfaction with your own lot in life is a fairly natural reaction.

The shift in perspective can be to focus more on that other part of our narrative as Americans: our individuality. It is easier to get caught in a cycle of despair when you are constantly comparing yourself to the seemingly successful lives of others via the internet. But, for me at least, if I focus on my own individual goals — contributing to a Roth IRA, saving money, paying off consumer debt, etc. — those seemingly small scale accomplishments really guard against that feeling of failure. And achieving those goals, even though I’m not following my original timeline, will give me a feeling of financial freedom that could lead to more flexibility in terms of whatever work I choose to pursue in the future.

Jill Dehnert is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. For pictures of the most photogenic dog in the world, follow her on Instagram. All other thoughts are on Twitter.

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.