How Gilmore Girls Do Money: Kirk Gleason

Kirk runs the only Airbnb in Stars Hollow. Despite his listing — Charming Bedroom in the Hollow of Stars Hollow — he has yet to get any takers. It might be due to the photographs, which suggest that the bedroom for rent is, in fact, Kirk’s; it might also be the paragraph that mentions the guest will be sharing the home with Kirk, his mother, his wife, his cat Kirk, and his daughter Kirk. (“It’s a gender- and species-neutral name!”)

Kirk is also the only Uber driver in Stars Hollow, and that business gets a bit more service. Sure, the other Stars Hollow parents were a little frustrated that Kirk planned to charge them for his turn driving the elementary school carpool, but they’ve gotten used to it now. Kirk has a 4.8 star rating, and that’s mostly because Taylor told everyone that “he’ll refuse to pick you up if you give him less than five stars. Unbelievable!”

It was, for most long-term Stars Hollow residents, very believable.

Kirk’s daughter, called Kiki to distinguish her from both her father and the cat, invited Kirk to speak at the third-grade Career Day assembly. Kirk opened his remarks with “You know I am here today because of nepotism. My wife Lulu teaches third grade, and my daughter Kiki is your classmate. However, even though most opportunities in this world are given out through these types of connections, I have managed to make my own way by building my own career, one job at a time.”

The list was long, and Kirk had made slides. Filmmaker. T-shirt salesman. Ring salesman. Wedding DJ. Real estate agent. Beauty product developer, tester, designer, and salesman. Decorative mailbox salesman. Mime. Dog walker. Professional historical re-enactor. (“It’s important that you list every job on your resume, even if you don’t get paid.”)

Kirk told the third-grade students that the biggest component of a successful career was making sure you had no competition. “The times in my life that I’ve tried to compete with someone — like the time I started an outdoor diner to compete with Luke’s Diner — I have nearly always lost. So I’ve focused on jobs that nobody else in Stars Hollow is doing. That’s how I ensure I have value in the marketplace.”

One of the students asked him how much he got paid, and Kirk said “It isn’t about how much you get paid. It’s how much value you have to offer. A good idea, combined with good execution, is much more valuable than any single payment.”

He ended his presentation with a list of his current jobs: Airbnb host, Uber driver, TaskRabbit, wedding DJ, wedding photographer, town troubadour (“Taylor says the position will be mine as soon as the current troubadour retires, and I’ve been practicing my mandolin”), dog walker, real estate agent, Amazon Prime Now delivery driver (“I’ve been told they’ll notify me when Amazon Prime Now comes to Stars Hollow”), science fair project consultant, and Taylor’s assistant. “He hires me for a lot of stuff around town. If you’re familiar with the Pareto Principle, he’s the 20 percent client giving me 80 percent of my work.”

Kirk left the last 15 minutes for questions, but aside from a softball question from Kiki — “What’s your favorite job?” “Being your dad.” — none of the other third graders had anything else to say. Lulu asked them to spend the time doing Think Pair Share with their neighbors, and as each third grader thought about what they had learned from the Career Day asssembly, Lulu went to her husband and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said. “You were wonderful.”

“I always am,” Kirk replied.

Previously on How Gilmore Girls Do Money: April Nardini

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