How Gilmore Girls Do Money: Christopher Hayden

Christopher Hayden paid for Yale.

Christopher Hayden paid for prep school.

Christopher Hayden paid for a second prep school, and told Gigi she was taking after her old man.

Christopher Hayden paid for his girlfriend to go to grad school. In Iowa. (She found a new muse, and lives in a farmhouse writing stories of strong women.)

Christopher Hayden paid for experiences. He also paid for things. He believed they were both important.

Christopher Hayden spent his entire inheritance. It was inevitable. He has never been good with money; everyone just thought he was good with money because he was rich, and because he said things like “I run a business.”

Richard gets Christopher Hayden a job. Again.

People pay Christopher Hayden a good salary because he looks like he is good at what he does. He is not that good at what he does. He has never been that good at what he does.

Christopher Hayden’s two assistants do most of his work for him. He smiles, thanks them, takes the credit. He doesn’t even know he’s taking it; he assumes the work is his because it happens in his office, and because he says “yes, go ahead.” That gives him ownership.

Christopher Hayden thinks people like him because he likes himself.

Christopher Hayden never stops riding his motorcycle.

Christopher Hayden does not leave Rory or Gigi an inheritance.

Christopher Hayden’s looks never fade.

Previously on “How Gilmore Girls Do Money:” Miss Patty


Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.

Comments