Cosmo Quiz! What’s Your Workplace Personality?

Oh lord, I’m glad to have never encountered this particular briar-patch: Workplace personality tests. What an efficient (read: lazy) way of categorizing your potential employees.

Job applicants at McDonald’s must say which statement out of a pair they agree with more. An example:

• I sometimes get confused by my own thoughts and feelings.
• I do not really like when I have to do something I have not done before.

RadioShack asks potential employees if they strongly disagree, disagree, feel neutral about, agree or strongly agree with specific statements, such as:

• Over the course of the day, I can experience many mood changes.
• I am always happy.
• Sometimes there is so much stress I wonder how I am going to make it through the day.

These tests have not been an unmitigated success: “Whole Foods Market Inc. stopped using the tests in 2007 after managers noticed that workers who cleared the personality-screening process sometimes lacked basic food-preparation skills.” Ha.

That said, I’ve heard about some amazing workplace personality tests that people can take once they’re on the job, like the one that tells you whether you’re red, yellow, green, or blue, or, more likely, red with green undertones and a splash of blue. Just a splash.

I’m definitely lemon-lime, like Sprite.

Then of course there are tests to determine whether you’re more of an auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learner, and where you fall on the ENFP — ISTJ spectrum. Is any of it really that insightful or useful in the workplace?

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