Olympics Commercials, Ranked

The number 1 best gold medal commercial: The McDonalds one, obviously. And forever. The last shot of this commercial might be my favorite part of these Olympics aside from that fierce little Russian child skater.

2: The commercial for, I think it’s a car, that is just a regular commercial and then at the end when they put all the stuff on the screen that they have to put on the screen, a dude just skates across the screen. I like their style. Efficiency. Laziness. I am sorry that I do not remember what product this is for. I support their brand.

3–10: All the ones for financial products that show footage of Olympic athletes as little kids. You tugged my heartstrings, you did not get me to remember your product name.

11: The one with the married couple and they are in the red car and the dude is checking his text messages via Siri while his wife is in the car? Which, no human would ever do that? And then one of the text messages is about a tattoo on either his butt or his penis? And so he hangs up the Siri text message app that is supposed to be being advertised, but is actually just shown as a stupid terrible feature? And also, dude, why are you embarrassed? Your wife is going to see your butt and or penis at some point? So what? Is the point? Of this commercial? I do know that it is for Chevrolet, and I also know that I will never be buying one of those cars, ever. Because of this ad.

Last place: The Nationwide commercial with the hearts. I hate it so much. I hate it so much that I have to say, “I hate this so much” each time it airs. I’ve been so distracted by my disgust that I’ve failed to play one of my favorite games, recognizing celebrity voiceovers in commercials. Julia Roberts voices this commercial and I didn’t even notice. But also, it’s infuriating that they don’t just GO FOR IT and turn the Nationwide logo into a heart at the end. It would have been so easy. Look. God I hate this commercial.


As umlauts pointed out in the comments, I left out the most addictive of all Olympics commercials, The COSMOPOLITAN LAS VEGAS commercial. This is a great commercial. The first time I saw this commercial, I knew I was going to buy whatever it was advertising. And then it was advertising a hotel in Las Vegas, which, not in my budget. This is a commercial for youth and hedonism. I love it!!!1

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.