The Apartment Hunt

By The Billfold November 20, 2013

by B. Benson

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Hi Ben — I saw this ad you posted for a 1-bedroom: (link to ad). When is the move-in date?

Thanks,

Bob

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Ben, The Real Estate Agent

It’s unusually flexible from Dec 1 to Feb 1.

Best regards,
Ben, The Real Estate Agent

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Good to hear, and thanks for getting back to me so quickly. Can we set up a time for me to view it?

Bob

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Ben, The Real Estate Agent

When are you available? I could do early evening today or sometime tomorrow. Thanks.

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Hi Ben — Can we do tomorrow? I could look at it in the morning before work, during my lunch break, or after work.

Thanks so much,

Bob

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Ben, The Real Estate Agent

Can we do the morning? What time? Thanks.

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Sure. Can we do it before 9 a.m.?

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Ben, The Real Estate Agent

Is 9am OK?

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Actually, I might be able to do early evening today to take a look if you’re still available then.

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Ben, The Real Estate Agent

Unfortunately we just got an app with deposit and so will have to hold off showing for now. I will let you know if it doesn’t go through. Sorry.

To: Ben, The Real Estate Agent
Subject: Regarding the 1-br apartment
From: Bob

Wow, that was fast. Thanks for for letting me know.

To: Person renting out apartment
Subject: Regarding “spacious studio”
From: Bob

Hi — I saw your ad on Craigslist. Where in the city is this apartment located? And how much is the broker’s fee?

Thanks,

Bob

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding “spacious studio”
From: Person renting out apartment

Its located downtown. I will find out the fee tomorrow so I do no remember what it is, so ill email you that info tomorrow morning.

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding “spacious studio”
From: Person renting out apartment

The broker fee I believe is one month rent and the lease would be for a year

To: Bob
Subject: Re: Regarding “spacious studio”
From: Person renting out apartment

Actually the apartment has already been rented sorry

To: Person renting out apartment
Subject: Re: Regarding “spacious studio”
From: Bob

Okay, thanks anyway.

Bob

*Picks up phone, and dials number*

Bob: “Hi I’m calling about the apartment listing on your website. I’m interested in seeing it right away if it’s available.”

Ella, Licensed Broker: “Sure! Can you meet on the corner of A Street and B Street at 2 p.m.? I’ll be happy to show you the apartment.”

Bob: “Okay, great. Can you tell me what your fee is?”

Ella, Licensed Broker: “We can talk about that later if you’re interested in the apartment.”

Bob: “Okay, thank you. I’ll see you at 2 p.m.”

*Shows up on the corner of A Street and B Street 10 minutes early.*

*At 2 p.m., wonders if Ella, Licensed Broker is late.*

*At 2:10 p.m., calls Ella, Licensed Broker, who does not pick up her phone. Leaves message*

Bob: “Hi Ella, Licensed Broker, it’s Bob. I’m here on the corner waiting for you. Let me know if you’re running late.”

*At 2:20 p.m., call Ella, Licensed Broker again, trying to keep it together. Leaves message.*

Bob: “Hi Ella, Licensed Broker, it’s Bob again. Just wanted to see where you were.”

*At 2:25 p.m., receive text message from Ella, Licensed Broker.*

UNKNOWN NUMBER 2:25 PM

Hi, it’s Ella, Licensed Broker. Sorry, but that apartment is already rented. I can show you another one that I think is comparable tomorrow if you want?”

To: Landlord
Subject: Renewing Lease
From: Bob

Hi Landlord,

I’m interested in renewing my lease, after all.

Thanks,

Bob

B. Benson is an office drone.

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