Help, I Have a Date and No Money

FROM: Burt TO: Logan SUBJECT: HELP

I have a date tonight and $3 in my checking account and no credit left available on my credit cards and it’s literally too late to back out. WWYD?!?

~Many Hours Later~

FROM: Logan TO: Burt SUBJECT: Re: HELP

omg i just saw this what DID you do???!

FROM: Burt TO: Logan SUBJECT: Re: HELP

Oh, of course I pretended that I had just switched to my trendy, rain-friendly messenger bag this morning, and in the process somehow left all my credit cards in my other bag. Fortunately, he graciously offered to cover my dinner, but in exchange, I now have to go on another date with him next week, where I will have to return the favor.

What passed through my mind? Offering to go on a romantic stroll along the High Line instead of getting dinner. Inviting him over to my apartment for dinner, where I would have served him ramen and Greek yogurt. Telling him I had to go home to Brooklyn first to retrieve my credit cards, but then accidentally falling asleep before I could make it back out to Manhattan. Actually breaking my phone to say I couldn’t be reached. You know. The usual.

FROM: Logan TO: Burt SUBJECT: Re: Help

yes the I left my wallet at home line is the best response in this situation
you know other than honesty, which, could also have worked maybe?

do you Want to go on another date???
I don’t think you have to necessarily.

FROM: Burt TO: Logan SUBJECT: Re: Help

no, i don’t! but the GUILT!

FROM: Logan TO: Burt SUBJECT: Re: Help

Hmmmm if he was a nice person I think you should do it anyway since you said you would? But if he was a mean person maybe you can just … not. Because maybe you’ll never see him again? But maybe also you’re the kind of person who will think about this all the time and be like, I have one regret in my life, and it’s that I didn’t pay that person back with dinner even though I said I would. Maybe you could paypal him. I don’t know, Burt. I really don’t. This seems like a very good example of a reason not to date.

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.