How Your Processed Cheese Slice Gets Made

McDonald’s Canada has been running a year-long ad campaign based on TRANSPARENCY, and it’s been doing very well. If you have a Canadian IP address, you can ask a question on their dedicated site, and someone from McDonald’s HQ will answer it maybe and the answers are so calm and corny and upbeat that I’m … almost convinced? My favorite ones is: “What is your cheese made of? It tastes better than other ‘processed cheeses.’”

The answer: “Hey there, Alex. We’re glad that you really like our processed cheese. The main ingredient is actually cheese. You can see the full list of ingredients here. Have a cheesy day!” GROAAAAAN. Also “the main ingredient is actually cheese,” lololololol. Anyway here is the ingredients list:

“PROCESSED CHEESE SLICE: Cheese (Milk, modified milk ingredients, bacterial culture, salt, calcium chloride, microbial enzyme, lipase), modified milk ingredients, water, sodium citrate and/or sodium phosphate, salt, potassium sorbate, citric acid, soy lecithin, colour (annatto). CONTAINS: MILK, SOY”

“How is it the McDonald’s burger does not rot?” is also pretty, pretty great (SCIENCE). But it was the answer to “Is your stuff good for us?” that brought me back to reality. Truth in advertising is not the same as truth.