How Are You Watching the Results Tonight?

by Mike Dang and Logan Sachon

Mike: Logan, how are you watching the election results tonight? I don’t normally stay up past 10 p.m. on weekdays, but I feel like Election Night is a good night to watch with a bunch of people — especially if you have the sense that the candidate you voted for has a good chance of winning.

Logan: TEN P.M. Glad you’re skipping your bed time for this Important National Event. I, however, do not plan on following any results. Maybe I’ll watch Obama’s speech if it occurs at a reasonable hour and someone comes and pulls me in front of the TV and also my spleen is correct about its feeling that it will be a victory speech. BUT I AM TOO NERVOUS TO WATCH THE PLAY BY PLAY. Though since I disenfranchised myself and DIDN’T VOTE, perhaps I should not feel so nervous. I DID NOT DO MY PART.

Mike: You are allowed to feel however you want! As Choire said today: “perhaps you messed up your voter registration and you are cowering in shame in your hovel. That is legitimate.” This is America! I mean, I’d probably feel really bad if I were in Ohio or Florida or another swing state, but you live in New York, so although, yes, your vote counts (popular vote!), we’ve got you covered in our electoral college.

I’m definitely watching the results, though. It’s like how Oscar night used to feel — or maybe the Olympics is more relevant here. Anyway, there will be a booze budget, and probably pizza pies of all kinds. This is probably a night where a lot of people will be popping champagne? Enthusiastically, or morosely. There were both Democrats and Republicans at the party I was at in 2008 (but more Dems for sure).

Logan: Yes, historically I’ve had great fun but today I just cannot deal. I’m going to propose watching Christmas movies until it’s over. Love Actually. Elf. I’M FEELING FRAGILE.

Mike: I’ll eat a slice for you!

Logan: Oh one can watch Christmas movies on election night AND eat pizza. And that’s what I intend to do. See you tomorrow for four more years … or, some other thing. Recounts. Cold pizza.

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