A Prayer for a Gray and Kind of Grumpy Thursday Afternoon

by Lauren Rodrigue

God grant me the strength
to resist spending $30 on the “mystery bag” for sale on StyleMint.com,
the membership-based “personal stylist”-type email service allegedly curated by STREET STYLE EXPERTS the Olsen Twins.

What is in the bag is a mystery.
Life is a mystery.
Everyone must buy mystery bags alone.

I have a really REALLY SUPER HARD TIME resisting buying things like this.
Whatever is inside could be something I really need or want!
Something I could never otherwise get!
Something totally BANG-FOR-BUCK!
Like a sunny studio apartment in The Village?
Or a year’s worth of free eggs!
A million lacy bras.
Season pass to Six Flags Great Adventure
& Wild Safari.

Do not buy this $30 Mystery Bag.
MUST not buy this $30 Mystery Bag.
I WANT THIS $30 MYSTERY BAG!

But.
It would be just stupid to buy it.
(Right?)

Amen.

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