Who Should Pay for the Condoms? (A Survey)

What do you think about condoms in relationships, both the casual and the long-term variety? Who should buy them? Is it one person’s job? Is it everyone’s job? Should the costs be split? Here are some people’s take, anonymously:

• “I haven’t paid for a condom in like 10 years. I think I’ve only bought like one box of them in my entire life. They’re ALWAYS free. Especially for the gays.” (Man)

• “After I had some awful withdrawal effects after stopping birth control a few years ago, my boyfriend and I switched to exclusively using condoms. We’ve been condom-only for like, what, 3 years? No pregnancies! No broken condoms! No ‘but they’re so far awayyyy’ (possibly because our apartment is tiny). I think they’re great. No mess! I never buy them though, always him, and we always get the big ol’ 36 packs. When I was on birth control it was always such a pain, and being a lady is a pain just generally, so I don’t feel bad making him pay (also they’re expensive!). But we do go to buy them together.” (Woman)

• “I think most of the times I have condoms, it is leftover from relationship. The thing is, girls have purses. But if everyone just agreed to have condoms in their house, then boys won’t have to worry about putting them in their pockets, which is physically uncomfortable, and scrunches up the condom and then you are worried it doesn’t work as a condom.” (Man)

• “I always insist on using them, so historically I have always bought them.” (Man)

• “I think the couple should split the cost of condoms. Ultimately it’d be nice if the guy paid more often. But I also I think health insurance should cover that > viagra.”(Woman)

• “Do I have an opinion on condoms? I don’t use them, mostly because I’m not 13. But really, if you’re a guy, if you’re getting laid, you should be happy to man up and pay the couple bucks … chivalry doesn’t have to be completely dead.” (Man)

• “Oh gosh I’m in a relationship and I haven’t bought condoms in years. But I think either the person more committed to getting laid or the person more committed to using a condom buys them, cause if you don’t have one you’re either not getting laid or you’re faking it without one. I once caught my cheating ex using my delivery.com account to order condoms from the local deli at 2 in the morning while I was out of town. I don’t know what that means, but there’s that. Condoms, cigarettes, and Chateau Diana. (Man)

• “I don’t think i’ve ever bought condoms.But if I was in a LTR with someone and we were using condoms the whole time (which I have never been in), I wouldn’t mind splitting, I guess. Or whatever.” (Woman)

• “When I was with my first boyfriend in college I think i always bought them because he was pussy, but since we broke up, I pretty much put it on the guy to buy them.” (Woman)

• “Condoms are the worst and I haven’t bought them in ages because I have been in a long term relationship, and the best part of being in a relationship is not needing to use them. But I am of the mindset that everyone should just keep some in their bedside table drawer just in case. If I went to a girls place and she was like ‘I hope you brought a condom because as a girl, I don’t buy them,’ I would think she is nuts.” (Man)

Plus two adults said I could use their name (they’re married — not to each other — and were like, why would I be anonymous talking about condoms, stop being so stupid):

“I would say that everyone who wants to have sex with a penis, whether they own the penis or not, should have their own condoms.” (Jane Marie, co-ed of The Hairpin)

“This is one of those things that straight people make complicated for dumb emotional reasons, like the whole “who pays for dinner” debacle, which is so unbelievably un-life-affirming. In gayland, EVERYBODY buys condoms, and no one thinks about it, because gay people are 1. fun and 2. not selfish and 3. not cheap. Although to be fair half the time we get them for free, because, DUH. (Not that those condoms are so terrific but they’ll do and the price is right.)” (Choire Sicha, Co-ed of The Awl)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I also asked a woman that sleeps with women about dental dams, the woman’s woman’s condom:
“No one in the history of time has EVER USED a dental dam. Ever ever ever. Never. I don’t even know why they exist.” (Woman)

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.