Thirteen Ways to Lose a Debit Card

by Victoria Johnson

1. Left it in an ATM. Four or five times, actually.
2. Forgot to close my tab at the bar. This has, mercifully, only happened once.
3. Left it in jeans pocket, sent through washer and dryer. The magnetic strip disintegrated, my clothes smelled like hot plastic.
4. Slipped into money pocket of wallet, bent in half.
5. Left wallet on kitchen counter too close to burner, melted.
6. Gnawed by a large dog. How did he even got ahold of it?

7. Fell out of pocket again, this time on a windy day and into the Potomac.
8. No idea, disappeared into thin air. Still haven’t found it. Pickpocket? Who knows!
9. Left on metro (with its friend the SmarTrip card).
10. Dropped down elevator shaft, in that little gap between the car and the door.
11. Tried to use it like a cat burglar when locked out of my apartment, snapped in half.
12. Out of my pocket and into the toilet (with its other friend, my phone).
13. Fell out of back pocket while watching 4th of July fireworks in a crowded park … the night before moving to New Zealand.

Victoria Johnson never learns. Photo Credit: flickr/claudio gennari