What Netflix’s ‘Christmas Prince’ Series Taught Us About Money
Contains spoilers for A Christmas Prince and A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding.
For copyeditors-turned-journalists chasing the scoop of a lifetime:
Only pack one pair of shoes.
Also, only pack one pair of jeans.
See if you can pick up an extra job once you arrive. Maybe even someone else’s. That way, you don’t have to go through a lengthy interview process!
Remember: giant media companies may come and go, but small independent blogs are forever.
For small European countries:
Save money by combining as many events as possible. Already have a Christmas Eve ball on the schedule? Slap a coronation on the end and you don’t have to pay to redecorate the event space!
Did you know United now offers direct flights between Aldovia and JFK? Time to ditch the royal jet and fly commercial!
Consider cryptocurrency. We’re not sure how it will help, but you should at least consider it.
Try to inspire enough loyalty in your staff that they remain in your castle even when all the remaining government employees go on strike.
Get one of those staff members to pre-read your holiday cards before you open them. Have them throw out all the ones that say you’re doing a terrible job.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the various crises threatening the monarchy, go tobogganing! Wheee!
An earlship is an excellent low-cost Christmas/wedding/coronation present. You’ve got some land lying around that nobody else is earling, right? It’s pretty much a ceremonial title anyway.
For Christmas Princes:
Quality time is much more valuable than money. Teaching a few young people how to throw snowballs is way more important than raising funds for orphans.
If you find out that your family has been lying about your parentage for, like, your entire life, just forgive them. Therapy is expensive and it’ll all be about working through the acceptance process anyway, so skip the middleman and tell your mother everything’s fine.
For evil counts and lords:
Just because your interpretation of the country’s line of succession is correct doesn’t mean you should make a big deal out of it. It’s a monarchy, not a meritocracy, so focus on being likable. Remember: popular people get leadership opportunities even after doing terrible things like lying about their identity and sharing unauthorized photos of the royal family. Unpopular people don’t.
Check your country’s laws before marriage, especially regarding the division of assets after divorce. Consider a prenup.
There is no rule that says shell companies have to have websites. Bloggers rarely do much research or fact-checking beyond the first three Google results, so stay offline and they’ll never find you.
For princesses who are overlooked in the line of succession:
Take up hacking and learn how to destroy the country from the inside.
Photo credit: A Christmas Prince trailer screenshot.
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