How Gilmore Girls Do Money: Taylor Doose

“The most important thing,” Taylor said, “is that everyone should know that Thanksgiving dinner is free.”

“You can’t charge people for Thanksgiving,” Patty said, nodding approvingly at the Stars Hollow high schoolers who were moving tables into her dance studio.

“That’s what I said.” Taylor’s hair was thinner; his hands, when he took them out of his sweater pockets, were starting to look loose and veiny. “So make sure you tell people when you see them.”

“How about I just put it in the Facebook invite?”

“Fine, do your Facebook, but I want as many people to know as possible. My table is open, and I am paying for everything.”

When Taylor had broached the idea to Patty at the beginning of November, she had argued that everyone would have their own Thanksgiving dinners to attend — but Taylor, who kept a mental town roster that far surpassed any social network’s data, began making the list:

“Luke’s father is dead. Lorelai’s father is dead. Rory’s father is dead.”

“Wow, Taylor, it’s like you’re a walking obituary section.”

“You don’t have any relatives, I don’t have any relatives, Babette and Morey don’t have any relatives — “

“Except the cats.”

“I do not count cats on the same level as human kin, Patty. My point being, there are plenty of people in Stars Hollow who are looking forward to a lonely Thanksgiving, and I have a solution.”

The flyers went out, the Facebook invite was created, and despite Taylor’s insisting that he would provide (and pay for) all of the food and beverages, people still arrived at the dance studio Thursday afternoon with laden arms.

“A turkey?! Sookie, we already have a turkey.”

“Oh, you can never have too much turkey!” Sookie carried the bird herself; her children followed behind with baskets of rolls and stacks of pies. Jackson had the keg. “I’ll just put this in the corner for now, Taylor. Happy Thanksgiving!”

Kirk and his family brought a Crock-Pot full of cooked porridge. “It’s what the Pilgrims would have eaten,” he said. “No salt, no spices, just crushed grains and water. They gave thanks for it, too. We underestimate the Pilgrims, really.”

“I said I would provide all the food!” Taylor sputtered. “Did you not read the flyer?”

“There’s room at the end of the table,” Patty said, with a friendly wave.

“Thank you, Patty.” Kirk said. He looked at Taylor. “I’m going to need my Crock-Pot back after the meal.”

Mrs. Kim brought Lane, the twins, and a casserole dish of vegan stuffing. “Not everyone wants to eat bread crumbs out of a bird carcass.”

“That smells delicious,” Patty said.

By the time Lorelai and Rory arrived, most of Stars Hollow had sat down to eat. “You missed grace,” Taylor said.

“We said it at the last dinner,” Lorelai replied, walking straight to the buffet and beginning to load up a plate. “When you say grace once, it counts for everything you eat for the rest of the night.”

“At least for the next two hours,” Rory said.

“Right,” Lorelai said. “It’s like a bus transfer.”

“There are seats over here by me,” Patty said, gesturing to two empty chairs. Rory sat down first, a drumstick already in one hand. “This turkey is amazing. Where did Taylor get it?”

“I think that’s the one Sookie made.”

“I definitely got the Taylor turkey,” Lorelai said, joining them. “Want to trade?”

“Get your own.”

“We have a few Thanksgivings to hit up today,” Lorelai explained to Patty, “so I don’t mind eating a few bites of dry turkey. But I think I’m going to walk off with an entire pie. Did Sookie make blackberry?”

“You all didn’t need to come out here, then,” Patty said. “Not that we’re not happy to see you.”

“Oh, no, we had to,” Rory said. “When we saw the flyers?”

“I mean, that’s why everyone’s here, right?” Lorelai said. “Because nobody wanted Taylor to be alone on Thanksgiving.”

Previously on How Gilmore Girls Do Money: Kirk Gleason

This story is also part of our Holidays 2015 series.

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