GOOD ENOUGH Homes & Destinations: What You Get For $500K

Gray Lady hasn’t had her coffee today and is totally over work because it’s August and settles for giving us a list of the totally ordinary houses you can buy for $1,500,000. Like this one in Shark Key, Florida:

Shark Key is a gated island community seven miles west of Key West. The island is about a mile long and only two lots wide, with a saltwater swimming lagoon in the middle. Community amenities include two tennis courts and a clubhouse. Shopping and dining are within a 15-minute drive, on the palm-lined streets of Key West. This house is on a peninsular lot near the southern tip of the island, surrounded by water on three sides. … The house is on about an acre, lush with mature banyan, coconut and banana trees. Parking is in a covered spot under the house. There’s space to pull a pontoon boat in and out of the water.

Yawn.

Let’s see if we can find something more exciting in this week’s edition of GOOD ENOUGH Homes & Destinations: What You Get for $500,000.

4 bedroom, 3.5 bath, 4300 sq ft Craftsman-y home in Tuscaloosa, AL, for $495,900, via Zillow. Huge porch with a swing, backyard with an outdoor fireplace, and in case you ever feel like going inside, huge rooms with historic details (the house dates to 1925), lots of windows, and a claw foot tub.

Own what looks like your own small liberal arts college. 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 3000 sq ft gated estate in Kalamazoo, MI, for $499,900, via Zillow. The ornate brick house comes with a new roof, beamed ceilings, stone and hardwood floors, leaded glass windows, fireplaces, built-in bookcases, and, duh, a billiards room. Outside, a private creek meanders through 2.3 acres because you’re nobody til someone loves you — and you own your own creek.

3 bedroom, 2 bath lake house in Oconomowoc, WI, for $498,000, via Realtor.com. You think a creek is impressive? Try your own waterfront property, complete with pier. 1500 square feet, plus 50 ft “frontage,” whatever that means, I assume it’s a fancy word for “private lake-beach,” with great views from huge windows and a heated, 2.5 car garage. I don’t know what a half-car is in this context but I’m assuming it’s something that, like “frontage,” only very fortunate people enjoy. Also, the kitchen has more cabinets than most people have brain cells.

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.