‘Here Is a Gift Card to Target’

“I don’t know what’s on it.”

My cousin handed it to me. This was an unplanned gift. She was looking through her bag for a glove or a tissue and came up with the card instead. We had been talking about how stupidly poor I was through every fault of my own. The gift card was a consolation prize for losing this particular round of adulthood.

I took the card and put it in my own bag, where I promptly forgot about it except for when I think about it all the time. This was a year ago.

Feb. 10, 4:23 a.m., [sees that we are on the last roll of toilet paper] I could use that gift card to Target

April 11, 8:23 a.m., [sees that prescription is almost empty] I wonder if I could use that gift card to Target

Aug. 4, 5:24 p.m., [has basket of crap at Walgreens, stares at basket] I could buy all of this at Target with my gift card [leaves]

Oct. 7, 6 p.m., [train] I wonder, where is that gift card to Target

Dec. 3, 3 p.m., [looks at bank account, bank account empty, looks at pantry, pantry empty] At least I still have that gift card from Target [goes to bed]

Dec. 15, 5:34 p.m., [stares up at Target] But I don’t have my gift card [leaves]

Jan. 12, 10 p.m., [bed] Ha, what if I’ve been thinking about this gift card for 1 year and what if there is like, $2 on the gift card [goes to sleep]

Jan. 12, 10:02 p.m., [wakes back up] But then again, what if there is $200 on it [goes back to sleep]

Jan. 12, 10:03 p.m., [wakens] I will find it in the morning [zzzz]

Jan. 13, 8 a.m., [does not look for/find gift card to Target]

Jan. 15, 10:55 p.m., I should look for that gift card to Target

Jan. 23, 7:30 a.m., [looks for gift card to Target]

Jan. 23, 8 a.m., Okay it’s not here and I’m willing to concede it’s not here

Jan. 23, 8:30 a.m., How do I reconcile the fact that I’ve spent so much time thinking about this gift card with the fact that I will never use it?

Jan. 23, 9 a.m., Sunk cost? Is that applicable?

Jan. 23, 9:10 a.m., Namaste, definitely applicable

//photo by kevin dooley