My Boss Googled Me

by Fontaine Williams

This morning I was in a meeting where my boss projects his laptop on a screen and discusses stuff with the team. At one point he switched to a browser to show us something on the web. There was text in his Google search bar: My name. Why?

• Wants to fire me, needs evidence

• Needs picture of me for the company newsletter

• Stewing in bitterness over my superior social media presence

• Nothing came up in the sex offender database

• Wondering if I’m the same guy who was arrested in the late ’90s in Oklahoma for large-scale indoor marijuana cultivation

• Wants to friend me on Facebook

• Wants to follow me on Instagram

• Wants to connect on LinkedIn

• Different Fontaine Williams

Fontaine Williams lives in Gresham, Ore.

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