Some Questions For This Tweet About Financially Irresponsible Spouses
You can’t just put this up and run away.
How do you feel?
What you see above is a tweet that USA Today sent into the universe and then walked away from, perhaps with the intention of creating a conversation much like the one we’re about to have, right here.
According to the LearnVest Money Habits and Confessions survey, 53 percent of men and 62 percent of women would rather be single forever than be with someone who is “financially irresponsible.” At face value, that makes sense. Financial responsibility in a long-term relationship is essential if you consider your relationship a partnership. If you’re filing your taxes together and have a shared checking or savings account, it’d be helpful for the other person to be responsible because excuse me, that’s your money too.
Wanting your partner to be financially responsible is a perfectly reasonable desire. Deciding that you’d rather be “single forever” because your partner is “financially irresponsible” is another thing entirely.
(I’m passing no judgment here on those who wish to be single by choice or booed up by choice; everyone’s life is different and whatever you decide to do with yours is not mine. To be clear, I tilt towards the former.)
How “irresponsible” are we talking here? There’s a big difference between buying a Maserati with your child’s college fund and spending $50 over-budget on groceries every now and again. Did your partner blow their retirement fund on blackjack? Did you pop open the truck of the minivan only to discover a hidden cache of designer handbags and Manolos tucked under the box where the snow scraper lives during the off-season?
Being financially irresponsible isn’t just about spending, though. Everyone’s trying to figure money out for themselves and reshaping the attitudes ingrained in us from childhood about money is difficult. Maybe financial irresponsibility means not making a budget or saving less than the recommended amount for our 401(k). Viewed through that lens, scrapping a relationship for those reasons feels a bit exceesive to me. Also, wouldn’t that kind of information about your partner come up prior to marriage or any other relationship where your finances are intermingled?
Without clarifying the difference of “irresponsible,” this becomes a murkier thing to consider. Everybody has their limits, but I’d argue that for money, “responsible” means different things to different people. Where’s your personal limit? Are you one of the 58 percent?
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