My Husband Wants Me to Make a Budget But I Don’t Want to Make a Budget

TO: Logan
FROM: DeeDee
SUBJECT: BUDGET “ADVICE”

I’ve never budgeted. But I’ve also never carried any debt (credit card or otherwise). Even when I was making $28,000/year and living in NYC, I didn’t budget…but I also never lived beyond my means. Actually, I probably proportionally saved more of my earnings back then compared to now (I now make twice that amount). I was basically in I-AM-POOR-I-CAN’T-BUY-ANYTHING mode and lived in tiny shoeboxes in undesirable neighborhoods with piles of roommates and somehow still put money in my Roth IRA without actually keeping track of how I spent the rest.

Anyway, my husband is horrified by how I don’t budget.

But I’m actually very financially-minded. I have a full emergency fund, I invest regularly in my retirement accounts and I have $10K+ saved up in a savings account for…I don’t even know what for. I just have it. And I add to it each month, after the retirement stuff. But it’s not like I make tons of money, so he still says I should create a budget.

My response is always, “Do I haaaaaaaaave to?” in that whiny-kid kind of way. I mean, I’m responsible! And I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I? I generally know I spend most of my money on eating out…do I really have to know that *exact* numerical total? I honestly don’t really want to know because I’m sure I would be horrified. Also, not having to budget is a real luxury. I think I’m pretty hard on myself already when it comes to deciding whether I can afford something or not (I almost always say no, even when the technical answer is yes), so I don’t want this additional burden on me. But I also know that creating a budget is the first step — nay, it’s like, the PRE-first step — to being financially responsible. What to do?

TO: DeeDee
FROM: Logan
SUBJECT: RE: Budget “Advice”

DeeDee. You are already financially responsible! Do you know this about yourself? You save and you monitor your spending and you are planning for retirement and you are super financially responsible. Beautiful. Golden. Own that. Look in the mirror everyday and say, “I am a financially responsible person. I do money really really well.” IAAFRP. IDMRRW.

So of course you do not have to make a budget. Of course you do not have to! Look in the mirror again and say, “Budgeting isn’t for me.” BI4M. Then go find your husband and say, “Husband, thank you for your concern about my money that I earn myself, I would like you to know I have decided at this point not to budget. I will let you know if that changes. Thank you and goodbye.” I mean I guess you don’t have say goodbye, you guys can sit down and eat some ice cream, watch some Netflix original series, whatever.

The main thing that needs to happen really is you need to accept that you’re doing just fine without a budget and that you don’t have to make one. Your husband isn’t right about this. Budgets are great for some people. You are not one of them. Maybe he is, in which case: He can make his own budget. Maybe you should tell him that. “Honey, make your own budget.” HMYOB.

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.