Apt Observations About Trader Joe’s

Over at The Gloss, noted phoneless person and O.C. connoisseur Mallory Ortberg explores what various Trader Joe’s purchases say about you. SHE IS CORRECT ABOUT ALL OF THEM. (“Vegetable & lentil soup (canned): You have a lot to worry about. Good luck with everything. Let me know if I can help;””Produce, any kind: You’re a fool. Produce is the Trader’s Achilles heel. He cannot master it; this failure keeps him up at night. ‘So many bags,’ he moans to his sympathetic but tired wife. ‘So many irregularly sliced end bits. Shelled English peas in a bag. Ghastly. All ghastly.’ There is no solution; the puzzle goes unsolved. Finally, he sleeps, but he cannot rest.”)

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