How The Muppets Really Do Money

Yesterday, we learned how Harry Potter really does money (spoiler alert: HAIR FORTUNE).

Today, let’s see how the Muppets really do money, and if it’s anything like the “How Muppets Do Money” series we ran on The Billfold last year. (It goes without saying that you should re-read every installment.)

ABC’s reboot of The Muppets has gotten mixed reviews, but I don’t care about that; I’m mostly interested in how much our Muppets are earning and whether they’re putting anything into a Roth IRA.

In the above clip, we learn that Fozzie is driving a classic convertible in pristine condition; sure, he may have just washed it before taking it to his girlfriend’s parents’ place, but it’s pretty clear that Fozzie is not broke.

He’s also reasonably financially savvy, or at least “performing the behavior that a financially savvy person might do;” after all, he shops at Costco. Let’s hope he actually eats everything he brings home, instead of buying in bulk and contributing to America’s food waste problem.

He is, of course, one of the many Muppets employed at the popular late-night talk show Up Late With Miss Piggy. His official role is “warm-up comic” — which is a real job — so I did a little bit of research (who am I kidding, I asked Twitter) and it looks like Fozzie probably gets paid enough to afford both his convertible and his Costco membership, because he’s also considered “on-air talent” and might have been able to negotiate a producer credit on the show.

So far, the answer to How Muppets Really Do Money seems to be: pretty well.

But if there’s one thing we know about those Muppet shows, it’s that they are always one episode away from disaster.

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