One Way to Get a Free Lunch

As told to me by a felon:

1. Leave your debit card at a bar.

2. But don’t realize it until you’re checking out at the cafeteria, and the cashier asks for your debit card, and you find that … you don’t have it.

3. Also have no cash. And no credit cards.

4. Say, sheepishly: “I’m sorry, this is embarrassing, but I left my card. I’ll just put this salad back.”

5. When the cashier says, “Just take it and run,” listen to her.

6. Take it, run.

7. Eat salad without a fork, because, while running, you ran past the utensils.

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